MISCELLANIEOUS LIST #26: nice or naughty?
32 examples of how we were done dirty in 2023 (pt. 1 of 2)
It’s the 22nd-to-last day of the year. What do you have to show for it?
When I think back on the last 11 months, the thread that binds them is community. Amidst a loneliness epidemic, having a solid and diverse support network is everything. It’s been a tumultuous year, that’s for sure, but it wouldn’t be what it is now if it weren’t for the people. (Right, guys? Right??)
So, in the spirit of community, for my year-end roundup, I phoned a friend. Many friends. Together, we’ve compiled a hodgepodge of headlines, cultural moments, memes, and internet drama that we deem to be notable and categorizable as either “naughty” or “nice.”
(It is, of course, highly subjective.)
Although I wanted to save the best for last—it feels like a bad omen to end the year on “naughty.”
Alas:
the 2023 naughty list (in no particular order)
Kylie Jenner dates Timothee Chalamet
“Kylie has given birth to two children, she could easily crush 45lb Timothee like a twig, but it’s kinda naughty that she doesn’t.”—Josh F.
the phrase “in my ____ era”
“to be in an era, you have to have lived, breathed, and been all-consumed by it. but most of the time when i hear this phrase, it is a fleeting feeling from one who has not actually era-d said era. therefore, this claim is a lie, and lying is naughty.”—Becky. B.
alien hearings
“complete nonsense that added 0 value to our lives, diverted attention and resources from pressing issues, fueled unfounded speculations, and contributed to the spread of sensationalism. what were they distracting us from?”—Chathy G.
Skinamarink
an “art-horror” film pitched as the next Blair Witch Project. spoiler: nothing happens. it was so painfully overhyped.
Sam Altman/Open AI drama
“jury is out, we know now that Silicon Valley company governance can be just as stupid, petty, and incompetent as the average person (they’re just like me🥹). but holy cow, i never want to hear about tech bros ever again (this is wishful thinking).”—Firouz S.
Lapse app (formerly known as Journal)
the most annoying faux-film photo app on the face of the planet; however, they get points for good UI copy.
Ozempic
“who’s going to train for the Olympics now if we can all just get a shot and be skinny? #rip #paris2024”—Jarett C.
the “gas stoves are bad” drama
this one gets the L for neglecting any and all nuance (b*tches hate nuance!) and for immediately becoming outrage clickbait for right-wingers.
Diana’s revenge (at the coronation of Charles III)
“Diana was naughty in the best way for haunting Charles’s coronation year with season 6 of The Crown.”—Annie F.
Aaron Judge’s butt
“[it’s] not an event but it arguably spans both nice and naughty.”—Annie F. (again)
MTA fare increase
“subway fare increase to $2.90??? naughty because they’ll keep taking our money and providing sh-tty service with never-ending construction.”—Emily H.
“The Idol” TV show
“there’s so much wrong with this show but The Weeknd pronounces carte blanche blatantly wrong at one point completely unironically, like not as a creative choice, and i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”—Will S.
Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty line scores lower than SHEIN on ethical practices
all i see are signs, all i see are troubled signs :/ this is so embarrassing, RiRi!
Matty Healy (the 1975) dating Taylor Swift
“Taylor Swift dating Matty Healy and showcasing her surface-level feminism! she was complicit with his remarks toward Ice Spice and then trying to cover up for it by putting her in the “karma” music video (even tho Ice Spice was fire).”—Lara S.
Colleen Ballinger apology video
fyi, she’s already back to making videos again like nothing happened. lmao
the perpetrators of the writers’ and actors’ strike
“[this was] bad because thousands of people were out of work because of corporate greed!”—Nic D.
Congress nixing Santos
“Congress is on the naughty list for voting to kick George Santos out—he embodies all the funniest parts of what a corrupt politician should look like.”—Sam V.
shut up!!!! (YouTube ranked it 3rd most popular meme of the year.)
Javier Milei, “chainsaw man”
“Argentina’s president-elect enchants his followers by eliciting the sentimentalism of…Margaret Thatcher? even in death, she continues her track record, leveling the country of Argentina two times.”—Drew W.
Britney Spears’s new husband filing for divorce
“Britney married the a**hole soon after her conservatorship ended, an extremely symbolic act with her regained freedom. #freebritney. an absolute shame any part of her freedom was wasted on him. fortunately, she got a prenup so he ain’t gettin’ nothin’. (prenup = nice)”—Abby S.
“x”
(and really anything Elon’s involved with.) this gets the naughty list for taking something precious and rare and transforming it into something impressively lame.
HBO Max’s name change
“Max dropping “HBO” like they think they don’t need it. more like “Min” am i right??”—Adnan A.
‘bama rushtok
“#rushtok will scare you in the same way an early 2000s teen vlog would.”—Meg G.
every man who went as Ken for Halloween
related: “i am kenough” merch
the Dalai Lama apologizing for asking a boy to suck his tongue
“lesson learned: don’t ask little boys to suck on your tongue (in a public forum).”—Max E.
Vogue putting Bezos and his new wife on the cover
thank you, Vogue, for perpetuating wealth and celebrity over substantive content. we’re well on our way to normalizing the concentration of power and influence.
those seven (7!) straight weekends of rain we had in NYC
“as summer bled into fall, every Saturday like clockwork it was raining in NYC. to be clear, this was not quaint London drizzle, it was pushing first testament-style rain. there were no cute brunches, there was just rain.”—Whitley Z.
Eric Adams and his evil budget cuts
cutting NYC’s library and sanitation budgets is like kicking a child. oh, wait—he cut the DOE’s budget, too! that’s fine, i’ve always said children should be less literate. serious q: can someone name one (1!) good thing he’s done for the city??
Eric Adams’ AI police robot
[no comment provided]—Anthony R.
restaurants that only use QR codes
“i NEED a physical menu -_-”—Santia R.
tiktok gift guides
just because it’s ~aesthetic~ doesn’t mean we need it—no more pushing the consumerist agenda!! especially 12 swipes in a row. plus, budgeting for the holidays is tricky enough as it is, so being fed content on the “perfect, must-have” vintage napkin rings is just a nail in the coffin of debt.
Berkeley, USA
—anonymous
Thank you to everyone who gave their 2¢!! Please tell me which hill(s) you’ll die on in fervent disagreement ♡
If you have any last-minute suggestions for the “nice” list, send them over asap.
Now, a special send-off from Robin L.: “Naughty or nice? It’s all a subjective façade. Embrace the chaos, gift the absurd, and revel in the madness. ‘Tis the season to spread sarcastic cheer!”
Sing it, sister.
godspeed,
lanie